“Feeling real is more than existing; it is finding a way to exist as oneself…” - D. W. Winnicott
A ‘wise consciousness’ exists at the core of every person’s being that speaks the truth…a true self...a sense of self based on authentic experience, and the feeling of being truly present and alive.
We develop ‘false selves’ when we are pulled to attend to others’ in order to feel loved, connected, and cared for.
People often keep playing their childhood false self far into adulthood because they believe it keeps them safe and is the only way to be accepted.
But by pretending to be what other people want, we silence our true selves.
False self personas keep people from acting according to their spontaneity and creative impulses.
A false self approach to life keeps you disconnected from your needs and creates turmoil.
Emotional distress is a signal that our usual ways of protecting ourselves (through a false self) aren’t working anymore.
Psychotherapy helps us become aware of the emotionally unconscious truth that we already know in our bones…
Periods of distress are opportunities to learn about yourself, become curious, and grow.
With the help of a therapist, you can learn how to best relax the struggle with reality.
You can learn how to change the ‘stories we tell ourselves’ that create suffering in the first place.
With your therapist as your guide, you can explore how you relate to your own experience, and expand your perspectives.
Outcomes of effective psychotherapy include: feeling more balanced & regulated, improved relationships, healthier perspectives, improved insight, more responsive & less reactiveness, increased awareness, acquired coping skills, navigation of difficult situations, and increased empathy for your self.
Psychotherapy can help you stop striving for perfectionism; learn to channel & manage healthier forms of aggression; and identify the deeper, illusive emotions that underly anxiety, shame, and guilt.
I believe in the power of psychotherapeutic change to tap into your core, essential self so that you can make the most of the precious time of your life. If you are ready to start exploring complex emotions, putting words to your problems, and building your own resilience, let's connect.
“What is therapy like with you and when will I feel better?”
Useful therapeutic results can at times be attained in short-term treatment evidenced by immediate symptom relief, a new perspective, and a general feeling of un-stuckness or movement in a new direction. Generally, though, it has taken a lifetime to get you where you are today, and the work on your self cannot be rushed. Each individual moves at their own pace and rhythm, and is governed by their own capacity to know and not know. It is my job to foster a space where you can hear yourself, your own thoughts, and allow emotions to arise in a way that is effective and useful. I will listen carefully to what is said (and not said), wait patiently, and help you to put words to your problems. You are the expert on you, and our collaborative relationship will uncover those parts of the self that are more hidden and contain essential elements of a life worth living. Our work together will provide an opportunity for self-knowledge, tolerance for difficult emotions, and acceptance of your own humanity.
The patients that I work best with are those who have a desire to do "deeper" work even if they are currently struggling with major distress (in the form of specific symptoms, emotion dysregulation, or general demoralization). If you feel like something is "off" but sense there is a way back to the true self, I can help you discover or rediscover a greater understanding of your unique Self.
I believe the essential elements to successful treatment are: regulating, relating, gaining insight.